Sunday, April 5, 2015

The Pain of Death of A Loved One and How You Can Benefit From It

The room is silent and still. You can only hear the silent beep of the machine. Doctors and nurses pump so a thin lady would still live. The lady on the hospital bed gasps for air. She fights to take away the very thing that keeps her alive. Every bit of her body feels pain. Her heart is torn. She can no longer bear the pain but she still wants to live as she thinks of the family and people she cares for. Then comes another doctor. She calmly tells the family that the lady’s brain has stopped its function. Despair, fear, and terrible sadness are felt by the lady’s family. Another soul is now home with the Lord.

Each person would eventually face death. No one can escape the sting of death. The death of a loved one is a universal occurrence. Each family soon realizes this one way or another. No one wants to experience it but everyone has to face it.

I never thought of the day where I would have to face the reality that I will lose my beloved Mother. She has fought the battle and I believed she fought it well. I never thought I would lose my 62-year old Mom.

It has been three months since I said goodbye to her earthly remains. Everyone has his or her way of coping but the pain still lingers. Even with the pain of her death, I personally have learned ways where we can benefit from the pain of death of a loved one.

The pain of death of a loved one makes us value our loved ones more.

People cry for their loved ones for many reasons. One reason is that the dead shall no longer be in their presence. However, those who are left behind cry because of regret. Regret that we have not shown how we really value our loved ones.

We may have told our loved ones “I love you.” However, there are instances when they do not feel loved. We should learn how to love them the way they want to be loved.  This makes us rethink that we should exert more effort in showing how we value them and love them more.

The pain of death of a loved one makes us value time.

Charles Darwin said, “A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life.”  People have the tendency to waste time. We tend to promise ourselves to do a thing-to-do at a later time and then perform some not-so-significant act.

The pain of death of a loved one motivates us to reach our fullest potential.

There are two types of motivation. Motivation could either be extrinsic or intrinsic. Extrinsic motivation is motivation that happens because we either want a reward or avoid punishment. Intrinsic motivation is motivation that happens because it is personally rewarding and we enjoy it.  The death of a loved one motivates us intrinsically because we want to reach our potential because we do it in their memory. Our fire and our desire to be the best we can be can be the result of experiencing the pain of death of a loved one.

 The pain of death of a loved one makes us grateful for Heaven.

The average lifespan of a person according to the Bible is 70 years. What is seventy years compared to a life of eternity in Heaven? Heaven makes us grateful that even if we feel pain, we have an eternity to look forward to in the presence of people we loved the most.

We may walk the valley of the shadow of death. We may feel pain when we lose the ones we love. However, we can still be grateful  we will have an eternity with the ones that we love.

 Lornajane Altura


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